July 19, Day 76
32.1 miles [1450.1]

Woke to crinkling pads and polycro being stuffed around 5 A.M. and panicked, I hate playing catch-up. Packed my shit, shit and left in just under an hour. My headphones are beyond FUBAR, the headphone adapter doesn't make a solid connection and audio cuts out, start/pause in an endless loop, or the absolute worst, restarts track from the beginning which is beyond frustrating for podcasts. Fairly certain my backups are busted and any solution seems far too challenging and time consuming on trail. Perhaps it’s time to start hiking without another distraction. Lunch was an enjoyable event per usual. Broke out the ground cloth, fully spread out and lounged hard with “Penguin”, “Trash Queen”, and “Shocks”. I have enough food to last until next resupply but I’m still worried about running out. I’ll survive, it just might not be ideal. I’m having trouble recalling any other events, perhaps that’s what happens when you devote the whole day to making miles and not taking “unnecessary” breaks. Thirty-mile days still whoop me and there’s gonna be another, even longer, one tomorrow. My plantar fascia are unbelievably sore, I must have massaged them for twenty minutes before feeling drowsy. Tonight’s camp has a breathtaking view of Mount Shasta. I’m ready for sleep, then it’s time to do it all again. Yippee.

July 20, Day 77
31.8 miles [1481.9]

By now I’m habituated to hearing “Trash Queen” deflate her pad in the blue of predawn but today I’m especially glad I chose to get up-and-out instead of snooze; Mount Shasta sunrise was almost more unbelievable than last night’s sunset. Pooped as quick as I could and got moving, this area is mosquito dense. I don’t have snacking food so I made three tortilla meals which worked but definitely not ideal. Breakfast was an Oreo and peanut butter with M&M’s wrap. Lunch was a Spam and mayo taco with a side of cold-soaked ramen. Dinner was two tuna burritos with more peanut M&M’s for dessert, I'm low on options. Briefly saw “Froggy” during lunch at Ash camp. Everyone in our group, even other hikers, is fixated on the town of Shasta. The last three miles before camp were some of my most discomforting. My arches were screaming, my knees felt fat and stiff to a point where I contemplated the possibility of hiking-induced compartment syndrome. Nearly 63 miles in two days, I’m hurting. This camp is absolutely slammed and there aren’t too many other options in the area, other hikers have congregated here and there are more than ten people in a site for five. I’ve noticed a small hole in my tent where the bathtub floor meets the nylon walls. Nothing survives the trail unscathed. A patch of duct tape should hold from further tearing. Adam mentioned his stomach was feeling off since this morning, I hope it’s just a bit of indigestion and not something more serious.

July 21, Day 78
19.3 miles [1501.2]

I was one of the last to leave, every hiker had vacated before 6 A.M., the desire to get to town is powerful. With screaming soles I arrived at Interstate 5, with each step closer there appeared to be a white EZ-up with scattered chairs, hikers, and ice chests underneath. Trail Magic. Shared a bag of carrots with Adam and mopped up any remaining hummus. I was handed two PBR’s and a shot of Jack—I was drunk. It certainly made the hitch into town much easier, I didn’t have a care in the world. Made a beeline for Taco Bell, a drunk hiker stomach can barely discern between “calories” and “not calories”, my wallet thanked me. Waddled over to Shasta Base Camp and tried to nap off my drunk and the afternoon heat. Dozed off and on for ten minutes under the smell of dog poop which wafted my way every few minutes but I was too tired to move. Saw “Penguin” taking a bird bath with a garden hose and decided to wait my turn. My clothes, however, were in need of more, there was a laundromat next door and it seemed like an appropriate occasion to purchase a load, my first machine wash since Sonora Pass nearly 500 miles ago. Rallied and got two more beers from the grocery store during the rinse cycle, one for now, the other for trail. Chilled hard with fam. Used the time and sewed on the other sleeve, my hybrid sun shirt is now complete. Resupply tomorrow, stoked for new food options.

July 22, Day 79
0 miles [1501.2]

Breakfast at Blackbear Diner where I had a big, messy plate of huevos rancheros with coffee. Sat with Adam and “Conflicted” and just felt lonely, something was clearly weighing heavy on his mind. Resupplied at Rite Aid and was surprised by the decent selection. Drank a ginger soda while I shopped. Got a beer and a peach, sadly only half of it was delicious, the other half dry and mealy. Adam was cagey and secretive all day. Told me he’s going his own way, finally. It makes sense—it’s time. I’m the one that needs to grow. Found a carton of chardonnay in a hiker box and muted my feelings by eating, drinking and smoking the rest of the afternoon away with “Sticky” and Brett. Watched “Conflicted”, “Trash Queen”, and Adam hitch out and I fought the revolting urge to follow. I fear losing the will to continue, I guess that’s been a fear from the beginning. But the thought of quitting now seems even more ridiculous than it did at Kennedy Meadows. Confided some darker thoughts with “Penguin” and felt disgusted at how weak and codependent I sounded. It reminded me that this was my hike and I’m the only one who’s going to hike it—time to be a man. Hearing “TQ” talk about the impending fire reroutes stressed me even further, it sounds like a labyrinth of exposed roads with limited signage. Oh, and I don’t have a Canada entry permit. Ugh. Slurped up a pint of ice cream before going to Taco Bell with Sarah and Kevin. Good friends are here, I don’t know why I have to keep reminding myself.

Hike On?